Here are the things I'm trying not to say when Cora and I are out in the wild together:
1) I'm Scared
Whether a spider crawls near us, Barred Owl sounds off, or if it's getting dark in the deep woods, I try to focus on what's interesting or beautiful about the moment. Most kids aren't inherently afraid of nature, in fact they are brave and push to explore the outer edges of any territory. Fear can be a healthy defense mechanism, but it's about balance.2) Don't Get Dirty
When we are outside with the purpose of free play, I want Cora to feel the pure joy of being out in nature. But sometimes even though she's in her old clothes, I hesitate for a second when she wants to jump in a puddle. Dirt is such a dirty word in our society, and I don't want Cora to have a negative association with something as amazing and alive as the soil beneath her feet.3) Ewww Gross!
I hear so many kids react to worms and other insects with revulsion. It's sad because these creatures are so integral to our own wellbeing. I try hard to remain curious even in the most challenging cases (i.e. a leach on my bare leg). It's not just with bugs - the cycle of life and death often gets the dreaded "Gross!" Cow pies, bones, vultures circling above - they're all a part of it.4) I Hate (insert any type of weather here)
Confession, this is the hardest one for me. We live in Michigan, so you can imagine how cold it gets in the dead of Winter. Still, I'm working on it. How flexible and accepting our children are to different weather patterns will largely impact their desire to be out in nature. I want Cora to tell me when she's cold, but it's important she enjoy herself out there for as long as she can. My husband and I even took a pledge not to complain about the weather for a whole month. Read about it here.5) Leave That Alone
I try not to use these words unless the kids are in imminent danger of getting hurt. If it's a poisonous looking plant or animal, we can back up a bit and talk about it from a distance. If it's not something I really want Cora to handle, I explain why and we move on.Well, that's my world what about yours? Is there anything you are consciously trying to say differently when you are outside with your kids? I'd love to hear about it.
Your Woman Gone Wild,
15 comments
The girls in my Girl Scout troop learned my terrible secret this summer – I hate whenever one of my Scouts yelled about a spider, I’d calmly talk to them about all the benefits and good things they do. I have picked up a daddy long legs to carry it nicely outside of tents or cabins more times than we can count. Each time I shuddered inside. But it was worth it. I now have a bunch of 4th grade girls who, when they see a daddy long leg inside their tent, will just walk over, pick it up and nicely put it outside. They are not afraid of them like I used to be. Success. :-)
I’ve been working on not saying “be careful” every five seconds.
I want my kids to be confident to try new things! If there’s really something I fear they might get hurt doing (usually climbing up something) I’ll just sort of stand nearby so I can maybe catch if needed. But you know what, it’s usually not needed after all ;)
Such important things to keep in mind! Sometimes I find myself rushing my 3-year old a little too much—mostly on walks when we are trying to reach an ultimate destination—I say “Hurry up!” way too much—need to plan ahead a little better or just be okay with only making it so far :-)